Most kids from a young age are told to be kind to people, love all people – not to judge. Easy! Right? Somewhere along the line someone tells us… “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say it at all.” And it’s no secret that there’s a chance that the same someone has failed to tell many (of our generation especially) to love our true selves, to be kind to self.
I don’t know about you but I grew up watching adults criticises one another. They would speak about others in unkind ways. I’m certain these people were trying their best, I doubt they even realised they were being unkind. Negative conversations about others were almost habitual? As a child and massive people pleaser, I would find myself agreeing with these people, commenting on others in a way that contradicted the way I was told to behave and speak.
Now, as a 34-year-old women, I am well and truly done with people pleasing. I won’t bitch for the sake of conversation and I am passionate about speaking my truth. I am so passionate about speaking my truth that I have found it now means some people will choose to not to love or like me. They choose to not believe in who I am as a person. With my truth and this perspective, I am able to let that go. I do my best to send genuine love to all and allow their choices to be their story, not mine.
And I have found that this breaks a negative cycle. It takes us to a place full of genuine love. I believe that the self-criticism and judgement that we place on ourselves literally oozes onto others, our family, our children, our friends and I believe that this is incredibly toxic.
That voice in your head, that says you’re not good enough? That is judgement.
That conversation you have, saying someone else isn’t good enough? That is judgement.
That negative comment in your head about the way you or someone else is choosing to live or be? That is judgement.
And that is ok. Because we are human. Humans compare, want to be better, seem to naturally default to this judgement of self and others.
I believe that this judgement is so heavily driven by our ego. This is not about the other people. It IS about our own lack of self-confidence, belief, courage to unconditionally love ourselves. And this, beautiful souls, is the real challenge. This is the deeper work. The need to acknowledge and take responsibility for our unkind thoughts. The need to be acknowledged by ourselves, take responsibility for us, so that we CAN love our true selves.
We have choices. We control our thoughts. We can free ourselves of this ego, the judgement.
It starts with three words. I LOVE YOU. Love for self, love for soul.
Try it. You’ve got this. We’ve got this!
We really have got this.
YOU can unconditionally love self and others, if you choose to. We don’t need to be so unkind to ourselves. This lack of love for self, is like a domino effect. It reflects onto the other humans of the world and it isn’t fair to us, to others.
Judgement doesn’t serve us. It gets in the way of how we courageously live our life, from love, together and in peace.
Less judgement. More Love.
More being true to us.
Worth a try??
Love Kate X