Do you have or use a creative space? Maybe you dance, sing, paint, sew?
I was able to express my passion and need for living creatively before my spiritual adventuring. In fact, creating is so important for my spiritual connection.
Silas and I left Sydney in 2013. I was 35 weeks pregnant when we headed back to my home town on the mid-north coast, ready for our country change. We were so excited to set up home in the house of my childhood. A week later, Eden surprised us with her spontaneous arrival. We had barley built the change table and still had many unpacked boxes so it’s safe to say that I had not given any thought about setting up a “creative space” when parenting took over.
Fourteen months later and I’m pregnant with Lucy. I had changed as a person. Obsessed with my first born yet desperately wanting another squish, I was dedicated and committed to being a gentle parent. Practising compassion, patience, being kind, it made sense to me. These are, after all, such important parts of me and my family’s philosophy. Honestly though, my “desire” went as far as intentionally posting pics of my babe in cloth nappies on Instagram to prove, (to who?) that I was “doing my best” for my baby. In fact, “Kate” went somewhere in those early days and “Eden’s mum” was (trying) to run the show. Enter Lucy, a screaming newborn with a cute but aggressive 21month old sister. Eden literally asked that her sister please be returned to the hospital and would fishhook her sister at any given opportunity. All of a sudden, this “ideal parent” and my Instagram posts were no longer enough and I was lost. Literally, in a whole heap of washing and a mighty chaotic, tired and slightly unhappy household. I was determined that this was not a reflection of me or my soul. I was a gentle parent trying my best, this time too shall pass, I would whisper to myself. And it did.
Like many of us, I had lost myself to parenting and I was trying so hard to keep my head above water. Trying so hard, to be the best. One late afternoon I remember feeling as if I was going to burst. Silas very gently suggested that maybe I wasn’t coping. No one likes to be told that they aren’t coping…especially tired mums who, let’s face it, are not coping. I took a breath (remember this was before I had found a daily meditation and spiritual practise) and looked desperately at my husband, needing him to see that I just wanted to feel like myself again. “Silas I need space” I firmly said. “A creative space, somewhere to be me”…it all made perfect sense. I needed a desk with all the things that bought me joy “and a journal, I need paper, pens, I need to write, to create again”. A month or so later the desk I had from uni was pulled from under my father’s house and I had a creative space. My creative sanctuary. Right in the middle of my home. A space which has now evolved into my “healing space” – where I literally welcome people into my home, my space and collaborate with them, spiritually dance with them, creatively and spiritually helping them to connect to source, meditate, breathe and be. Helping them to heal and trust in self. Source is smiling at me right now, as this is no coincidence.
A part of my spiritual story and #gumbootsbythesea most certainly starts with the establishing of this creative space.
How about you?
Love Kate X